updates for days

Wooah. So. Much. Info. To. Share.

Let's just delve right in. This has been a busy, BUSY season in my life. It's funny, I feel like once school starts things will actually calm down- probably because we will actually have a set schedule. But, who am I kidding? I'll probably still be running around like a crazy person, because that's how I do.

My first VeryJane deal went super well, yet I did pull my first all-nighter of my whole life finishing up as my deadline loomed. So a few weeks later, I got the itch again, and here I am- currently I'm taking a break from cutting and ironing, in preparation to again make over 150 headbands for my second deal, which ended a few days ago. But bonus! As I sew the night (and early morning) away, Netflix comes to the rescue! I am an expert on many things now, thanks to Netflix, including Taylor Swift, Auschwitz, nursery schools in NYC, homebirths, and I also mastered the first season of New Girl and the entire series of Felicity. I've also listened to many o' sermon, podcast, and my entire iTunes playlist so many times that listening to them now brings me to the point of nausea. And yet, I love it all. I love growing my business, making some money, and feeling like I am contributing financially. It's stressful but fun.

Speaking of my shop, there have been a few more exciting things unfolding. I prayed so hard for my business to grow. I prayed that just ONE opportunity would come up. Most of all, I prayed that God would reveal Himself to me through even my business and keep my heart and intentions focused solely on Him. Not focusing on money, popularity, success, or my own skills and creativity, but ONLY on Him. And, with that mindset, He has graciously chosen to bless me. I need to have daily (sometimes hourly... okay, by the minute) heart-checks to be sure that I am not focused on how many people have favorited my shop or commented on my photos or how many sales I've made- and if I do let myself be consumed with those things, to be serious with God and if my intentions are not right, to request He take everything away from me. I love that He can grow me and change my heart through ANYTHING, even through business, as silly as it may sound. I pray that I consciously need Him every single step of the way.

The past few weeks have been a little extra stressful with the all my work and endeavors combined with mothering combined with Ryan being out of town all week. He got a new job and is training - so being mom and dad for weeks straight has been hard.

I've also updated my shop with tons of new pretties - and I have even more to photograph and list. I just tonight brought a bunch of headbands to my salon and they will be for sale there as well. 

Also! I am going to be a vendor in the Sashes Market at the The Influence Conference at the end of September. I am terrified and nervous. But crazy excited.
Also, also. I was a contributor to The Tethered Crate this past month and I'm giving away a shop credit on The Tethered Crate blog - there's still a few days left to enter!

We had some special visitors this past month. Kerry, Rob, Luke and Lilah stayed for a quick and wonderful visit at the beginning of the month. The next weekend, the Wards came to spend a super awesome few days with us. And then the next weekend, my sweet Sarah from Boston visited for the weekend. Love.

Then there's my kids... Brynlee is 4 going on 25, Mac is suddenly potty trained, and Evyn is a crawling machine and has two teeth threatening to poke through. How is this all happening all so fast?! I do love it so much though- I love my big kids and I love the reward of them becoming less and less physical "work" and more and more molding and teaching and humor and eye opening wonder. Just the other day, Brynlee randomly said to me, "Mommy, the world is just so interesting!" Oh my sweet girl.  Sometimes I feel like I learn way more from them than they learn from me.

let's play catch-up

Well hello there.  Clearly, a game of catch-up is in order around these parts.  I've been so busy- physically but mostly mentally.  My mind is a constant jumble-y swirl of big ideas, to-dos, emotions, inspiration, anxieties, and dreams, yet writing all those things down seems to be the most ultimately exhausting and overwhelming task lately.  I want to do, see, feel, and be everything.  Sometimes, when I want to do everything I have a hard time starting even one thing.  I'm not discouraged; I'm actually more inspired and hopeful in so many ways than I have been in a long time.  Yet, I know writing is so therapeutic for me, so I think a little effort needs to be made.  Surely I will miss many details in this collection of words from the past three months (especially since my brain is pure mush these days- yet I can remember entire songs from 90's boy bands from my highschool days word-for-word but can't remember if I took my vitamins five minutes ago- it's bad, people), but let the mental flow begin!

Let's play catch-up!

projects I've/we've been working on:

landscaping, room designing, nursery finishing (I swear I'll take/share pictures, hopefully before Evyn grows out of the crib), basement designing (I'm trying to make the space more efficient and organized- for the kids AND me), losing weight (blah- dropping the baby weight the third time around has been so tough for me), putting laundry away before it's been sitting in the basket for a week (I'm rarely successful at this), a rock box and a built in bench/storage in our back entryway (built by Ryan, who is killin' it with project completion lately!), various lovely-fabric-involving accessories throughout the house, and sorting through thousands of pictures on my computer- I need to delete seriously 1/3 of them due to blurriness, duplicates, etc.  It's such a daunting task!


things I've been learning:

Oh my.  This one might get lengthy.  I tend to have my thinking time and epiphanies when I'm in the shower or doing something in which writing down my thoughts is impossible (and immediately writing down said thoughts is vital or else they are GONE- mush brain, remember?) so I'll try my very hardest to keep the thoughts and ideas from flying away and, as soon as I can, dictate them into the notes app on my phone so they are at least somewhat preserved.

I'm learning that I need to find my identity in Christ ALONE.  Not in being a mother, wife, friend, daughter... I could go on but I'm pretty sure my point has been made.  I need to be confident in my identity.  There needs to be no room for fear and uncertainty.

I'm learning that I need to not only endure this crazy, exhausting, overwhelming season of life I'm in (I love my kids more than life but having three kids three and under has just plain rocked my world way harder than my smug self ever thought it would), but I need to also embrace it.  I originally named this blog "Embrace the Space" because I was focusing on embracing the fact that we had moved away from home and I needed to accept where we were physically living and doing life.  I feel like the "embracing" sentiment applies more figuratively to me now- it's all so cliche and yet so darn true.

I'm learning (from reading "Desperate") that one of the most important things I need to do right now is turn off the "voices."  Whether it be trying to avoid getting lost on Facebook, choosing to not read every (well-meaning) advice/parenting/spiritual article that is linked in social media, or paring down my blog-read list, it's all been so helpful to me in learning to actually think more for myself and my family, rather than seeing how everyone else does things and going from there.  Plus- it's helping me to turn to the Bible for answers first.  Who would have thought?! ;)  I'm also trying to not turn off my own voice and to stand firm in my convictions.  This girl has a long way to go in the confidence realm, but it's slowly building.  I'm so grateful for growth.

I'm also learning who I am.  I am getting to know myself in a way that I never have before.  God has been so gracious to me in teaching me that so many things about my personality that I've always seen as a flaw or a weakness might actually be HOW HE MADE ME.  It seems so very simple, but it all just blows my mind.  For example, most people may not see this, but I am (on the inside) very, very shy in many social situations.  I've spent most of my life trying to cover that up and act like someone who I'm not (and in the process making myself just look nervous, awkward, or just plain dumb) in such situations.  Instead of fighting and hating my shyness, I want to be able to just embrace who I am and focus on that, not on who/what I want to be.  I know I can be shy and still be confident at the same time.  I do still have the desire to be warm, social, and comfortable- I know deep down these are all qualities that God has allowed me to possess, and I so desire to find a balance of them all.  Personalities just captivate me- I love studying people and have been trying so hard to see strong qualities in the people around me as qualities God intends for good, despite how they might be misinterpreted and misused.


events I'm looking forward to:

summer activities, weddings, the Influence Conference this fall, spending time with the ones we love this summer, weekly playdates with some of my bests, and summer visits from some of my very favorite people.


products/items I've been loving (beauty, home, food, etc.):

coconut oil (for basically everything... no, really), my Rifle Paper Co. phone case, lemon italian ice, anything gold (especially jewelry), the "Choose Happiness" aromatherapy candle from Target , Ruum kids clothing (even though I still pine for 77Kids), Tarte mascara, Simple face wipes, and Surface hairspray (seriously, the best hairspray I've ever used!).


happy things that have happened in the past 3 months: 

We went to the Outer Banks with the Kirnan clan way back in early April.  It was just the break we all needed.

We finally got a new kitchen table and chairs- I'd share a picture if I had one but let me say I LOVE THEM.

In mid-May, I was able to travel to North Carolina and be present for the birth of my best friend Kerry's new baby girl.  God orchestrated it all in such a way that I will never doubt again that He truly does care about EVERY detail of our lives and pays attention to what's important to us.  She went into labor literally when I walked in her door and she had her dream birth experience (and met her baby GIRL Lilah Hope!) a mere five hours later.  I still get chills just thinking about those few days.  It was all so miraculous and surreal.  Evyn was my travel buddy and she didn't bat an eyelash at our plane rides, airport waiting, and disrupted schedules.  That girl.

Brynlee finished preschool!  She'll be going three days next year and Mac will be going two days.  I twitch involuntarily thinking about having to get the kids out the door EVERY morning starting in September.

Ryan and I have imposed a weekly date night which has been so great for us.  Whether we go out or (more often) have a "date night in," we get a chance to touch base and spend some intentional time together.  I'd highly recommend it.

Mother's Day and Father's Day.

Evyn Mae turned six months old.
Then seven months old.
Then EIGHT MONTHS OLD.  HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?!

This little sunshine is just the light of my life.  She is so happy all. the. time.  She loves food, the other kids, attention, snuggling, and tickles.  She sits up pretty steadily now and rolls around but has no interest in crawling and I'm juuust fine with that.  She is so incredibly sweet and her hair is filling in and is still pretty red.  I hope it stays that way, it's so pretty!

Meghan and Greyson came to visit and stayed with us all last week and it was glorious to get to spend so much time with them.  That big-little nephew of mine rivals Evyn in the sweetness category and, unlike his cousin, is a crawling machine.  I love that boy as if he was mine.  And he pretty much is. :) I'm also pretty sure we aren't going to get a picture of all our kids smiling and looking at the camera all at the same time for at least 10 years or so!

sad things that have happened in the past 3 months:

I stopped blogging for She {hearts} It.  I was sad to stop, but I'm feeling the tug to simplify and streamline things right now.  I feel like God is nudging me to let go of some of the "extras," and I want to be open to what He might have for me if I am obedient in that.


blogs I've been loving:

The Small Things Blog (yay for Kate's pregnancy!  I'm such a stalker), I Take Joy (Sally Clarkson, will you come live with me?!  I just adore that woman!), and I've really been loving beauty blogs.  I tend to go in waves when it comes to blog categories I'm currently interested in- sometimes it's home improvement and design, sometimes it's diy/crafty goodness, sometimes it's fashion, sometimes it's just inspiring words and appreciating the heart of some of the writers out there that inspire me.


music I've been loving:

The Lone Bellow, All Sons and Daughters, and The Civil Wars' new single.  Too bad we have to wait until August for the rest of the album!


Aaaand that's quite the conglomeration of thoughts.  My brain is relieved.  Happy weekend!

randomness in photos

Here's the past few weeks in pictures!

I finally sewed up an infinity scarf with one of the knits that Ashley and I bought when she visited a few weeks ago.  It took me literally 5 minutes.  Easiest ever.  I used Keight's braided scarf tutorial as a rough guide to get me started.  I have the fabric to make a colorblocked one too- it will be cute for spring. 

My sweet baby girl rolled over for the first time the other day.  Back to belly!  So weird since she hates being on her belly.  She is just the happiest thing.  I could burst just thinking about her.

Valentine's day was low key around these parts.  A few little gifts, homemade Valentines, and a quiet (delicious) dinner in for Ryan and me.  I was the "special helper" for Brynlee's class at preschool, too- I was just in awe of her the whole time I was in there.  How has my little baby turned into a big, gorgeous KID?!  One that participates in a classroom setting and sings and follows rules?  Wow.

Story of my life right now.  Don't ever say I don't keep it real.

I pulled out the highchair so Evyn can sit at the table with us while we eat and she is loving it.  I probably won't start her on solids for awhile yet, but she seems content to just be part of the action at mealtimes for now.

These girls and I had a sweet night in last weekend, and it was so needed after a week of being cooped up in our sick house.  Ryan caught the awful flu and was down and out for over a week.  The kids and I managed to avoid it but it was still tough to get through.

Pretty sure the wallpaper sample on the left is going to happen in the playroom and I am so stinkin excited.  

Leah, Evyn, and I were able to meet up with Liz (and her baby girl in the belly) this past weekend for a lovely coffee date.  Funny story, Liz goes to Leah's church and we discovered about a year ago that Liz had read my blog before but hadn't made the connection that Leah was my SIL until we attended their church on a weekend we were visiting for a family party (they live a good 2 hours away).  That sentence didn't really make sense, but trust me, it was crazy-in-a-good-way.  Liz won my giveaway so it was a good excuse to get together... and it better happen much more often girlfriend.

Best cousins.  Dylan Elise, the baby girl who made me an aunt, turned FIVE the other day.  Mind=blown.  Love these girls so much.

currently

I'm following Emily's lead today & sharing some current life randomness.

loving: 

the few new pillow slipcovers I whipped up using this tutorial. After making the first one, I was embarrassed that I hadn't done these sooner. So easy!

reading: 

the February issue of Martha Stewart Living. And blogs. My favorites lately: The Small Things Blog, Hello From the Natos, From My Grey Desk. Also, Reality Steve [hanging head in shame].

waiting for: 

the storm we are apparently going to get hit with tonight/tomorrow. We're staying in!

excited about: 

a girls' night planned for Saturday night. SO needed.

trying to: 

avoid the flu. Ryan spent two days straight in bed this past week. In the 10 years we've been together, I've never experienced him doing this. It takes a lot to knock that man down. I'm downing vitamins and zicam!

working on: 

finishing the kids' rooms. They will be so pretty once my plans leave my brain and come into fruition.  I can't wait to share - especially Evyn's room!

enjoying: 

spearmint & orange gummies, gluten free pretzels, and Enjoy Life dark chocolate. Compliments of a sick husband on a grocery run. 

using: 

my TURQUOISE stick blender, a Christmas gift from my mom and dad. Smoothies have never been easier to make, cleanup is a snap (especially compared to using a regular blender), and it's pretty. Duh. 

wearing:  

these earrings. Picked them up last night and haven't taken them out since.

planning: 

on having a low-key weekend.

singing: 

to All Sons and Daughters. I like to think I'm the third part of the trio they don't realize that they are in. Haha.

needing: 

to snuggle this little bundle right now. And she's 4 months old as of Tuesday. [Brain explodes.] 

learning: 

about Biblical suffering and the hope & freedom that comes with it. Our pastor is doing an amazing series on 1 Peter right now.

listening to: 

the hum of the monitor, the furnace kicking on, and Ryan hacking up a lung.

wishing: 

there was a little more time each day to work on projects and snuggle babies and play with big kids. Priorities.

doing: 

pretty well at dropping the baby poundage. And I ran a 5k on Tuesday. My minutes/mile ratio is highly embarrassing, but I did it. In 27 degree weather. And then wheezed for a few hours afterward.

dreaming of: 

a sandy tropical beach. Someday!

***

Congrats to pretty Liz on winning my Winter Essentials giveaway!

daybook: "a feeble attempt to get back to blogging" edition

Outside my window... 

it's dark and chilly and Christmas lights are twinkling.  

I am thinking... 

 about how wonderful that peppermint stick ice cream I just ate was... and how I surely went over my calorie limit for the day as a result of it!  

I am thankful for...

my minivan! Never thought I'd every say that in my lifetime.  

I am learning... 

  

to crochet. Thank you, YouTube. Once upon a time (probably two decades ago), my grandma taught me the very basics of knitting and all that came of that was a washcloth. I am determined to master crocheting. Infinity scarves, here I come! 

I am creating... 

Christmas presents, jewelry, and house decor. Speaking of jewelry, my Etsy shop is up and running again. I'm offering a 15% off coupon code (BABY3) that will be good until at least after Christmas! 

I am going... 

to start blogging regularly again. I miss it. I may get even less sleep as a result, but it will be worth it. A blog re-design may be in order!  

I am hearing... 

Shark Tank. Ryan's favorite. 

Around my house... 

I see Christmas decorations and baby things. Love. 

One of my favorite things... 

is my sweet Evyn Mae's smiles and coos. Brynlee loves to talk to her and laughs uncontrollably when Evyn "talks" back. Ev's been sleeping long stretches at night, too. It's wonderful. Ohh I love my girls so much. My boys too.  

A few plans for my week... 

hanging out with my kids, Christmas shopping/creating, a fun night with the lovely craft night ladies, and dreaming up projects. I'm finally feeling inspired again to sew, decorate, create, write, blog, and read. It's good to feel passionate about the things I love to do again. Christmas shopping... that's one thing that I do love to do but dread it, especially when I have to go out in the craziness alone with all the kids. That results in a crisis every time.  

Pictures...

 

[our Christmas card picture]

My sweet nephew Greyson Flynn was born to my sister and brother in law on October 14, so these cousins are just 9 days apart (despite them being due on the same day, but let's not mention that around Meghan).  Love.

Tomorrow: I'm going to follow Raechel's lead and link up to an "At Home for the Holidays" link up party.  Can't wait!

well, hello.

I thought I would pop in and finally at least post a picture or two and introduce my new baby girl... 

Evyn Mae was born at 1:18pm on October 5, 2012. She was 9lb 2oz (my biggest baby by almost 2lb!). She is now 5 weeks old! She is such a love, I can not imagine our family without her. The kids are absolutely obsessed with her. Never knew my love could multiply this much, I can't even explain it.

We've been keeping busy (understatement) with daily life and spending time together as a family. Brynlee started preschool and my Macky boy turned TWO on the 7th of November. Sometimes I feel almost paralyzed by gratefulness for and awe of what God's given us. I am living my dream. No material thing in this world can begin to measure up to my sweet family. The days are so full and often overwhelming, but I am trying to focus on each individual day and remember that the hard times are so fleeting. I can't believe Evyn is already over a month old. I'm walking around in an exhausted haze, my house is a wreck most of the time, showers are few, and trying to get out of the house by 9am when Brynlee has school results in nothing less than a crisis situation. Yet, I am so full of peace and joy.

It's amazing, to say the very least.

updates

Okay, okay. Perhaps this "blog on the back burner" thing is getting a teeny bit out of hand. I've had so much I've been wanting to write and record, but I'm honestly so physically and mentally exhausted that I can't really even seem to stay up much later than the kids do at night, let alone write beautiful blog posts.

How about a list of updates: 

-Pregnancy. I'm just about 35 weeks! How did that happen?! I feel like I am so close yet so far. And undoubtedly humungous. Bigger than with Brynlee or Mac and I'm so ready to just snuggle this baby girl and have my body (somewhat) back. Physically this pregnancy has been pretty normal- I am ridiculously exhausted (have I said that enough?) and in lots of pain from normal pregnancy stuff. Contractions galore, and chasing/lifting/having my bed invaded by/being jumped on by my kiddos surely contributes. I just want to be able to attend to my babies! So it's been tricky. Plus, I have had these racing heart episodes a few times this pregnancy (like resting HR getting above 220) so I had to see a cardiologist, get an echo, keep a heart monitor on me for a few weeks, etc. I haven't had any episodes for a few weeks so I'm hoping it's just a pregnancy thing that I won't need to worry about anymore in a few more weeks.

-Kids. Crazy as ever. Mac is blowing me away with his latest skills: singing entire songs, holding impressively long and understandable phone conversations, remembering things that even I don't remember. Brynlee is still constantly in dress up clothes on a daily basis and starts preschool in a few weeks! I'm so excited for her. She's going to LOVE IT!

-Ryan. Yep, he's still here. In case you were wondering. :) Love him a lot and wish he could be home with us all day every day.

-Vehicle situation. Just yesterday, we turned to the dark side and are now a minivan family. I kinda really love it. The kids are over the moon! Even Ryan is smitten.

-House. Nursery decorating is in full swing! I can't wait to share the finished room. The livingroom built ins are also finally done- I will share as soon as I dust off my camera and get some photographic proof. I haven't even taken pictures with my real camera since our Nashville trip. Shame!


-Fun thing to gasp at. Look what I did to my (almost) two year old phone. Luckily we were eligible for an upgrade and now I'm a friend of Siri. Good thing the iphone 5 comes out in a few weeks - at least I get to be current until then.

So that's my brain dump for now. I'd better get dressed for the day, now that it's almost 3pm and I think Mac is finally down for the count nap-wise. Or maybe I'll just snuggle with my big girl on the couch just a bit more. Can't wait to feel my love multiply again when baby girl comes... it's just unbelievable to me that I'll have three kids so soon. I'm living my dream, and so, so grateful.

wards&kirnans take on atlanta&nashville

Oh, hello. Blog on the back burner, indeed. Felt good to take a break, now so much to share... our wonderful trip down south (which took place a few weeks ago) and tons of fun home improvement-y project updates (momma's got her nesting urges back) to come. Ryan and I had decided that we wanted to get away for a weekend or so before baby girl comes, and before I got too humungo (ha, seems as if we were a bit too late for that) and cranky (that too). Ashley suggested we try to get away together as couples, and our trip down south took shape!

Ashley's recap is so great and I'm going to cop out with providing details and let her post tell all... but of course I must share some pictures.

First up, traveling with the big belly and thinking I'm so cute as I stroll the airports with Ryan and then catching sight of myself in the bathroom mirrors and realizing the stares I had been getting were probably out of incredulous-ness over my largeness, not out of thinking I was adorable. And then I spilled Jamba Juice all over myself and let the ridiculousness ensue. 

Next, brunch with the Dukes' in Atlanta and failing miserably in avoiding skirt mishaps. 

Followed by Franklin Fun with the Myers'. Ohhh I could just move right down to Franklin, and I don't say those things lightly. I kinda like the people we visited too. 

Next: Nashville, baby. SO. HOT. But so fun. 

And, back to Franklin for our last morning for breakfast and to document our departure sadness. 

The trip was too short, much fun, and filled with yummy food (except the Embassy Suites breakfast... bleh) and an abundance of Starbucks. So grateful for these amazing friendships that have been formed (and have lasted!) through this crazy blog world.

And, yay, my blog address is now www.embracethespaceblog.com! Fun fact!