let's play catch-up

Well hello there.  Clearly, a game of catch-up is in order around these parts.  I've been so busy- physically but mostly mentally.  My mind is a constant jumble-y swirl of big ideas, to-dos, emotions, inspiration, anxieties, and dreams, yet writing all those things down seems to be the most ultimately exhausting and overwhelming task lately.  I want to do, see, feel, and be everything.  Sometimes, when I want to do everything I have a hard time starting even one thing.  I'm not discouraged; I'm actually more inspired and hopeful in so many ways than I have been in a long time.  Yet, I know writing is so therapeutic for me, so I think a little effort needs to be made.  Surely I will miss many details in this collection of words from the past three months (especially since my brain is pure mush these days- yet I can remember entire songs from 90's boy bands from my highschool days word-for-word but can't remember if I took my vitamins five minutes ago- it's bad, people), but let the mental flow begin!

Let's play catch-up!

projects I've/we've been working on:

landscaping, room designing, nursery finishing (I swear I'll take/share pictures, hopefully before Evyn grows out of the crib), basement designing (I'm trying to make the space more efficient and organized- for the kids AND me), losing weight (blah- dropping the baby weight the third time around has been so tough for me), putting laundry away before it's been sitting in the basket for a week (I'm rarely successful at this), a rock box and a built in bench/storage in our back entryway (built by Ryan, who is killin' it with project completion lately!), various lovely-fabric-involving accessories throughout the house, and sorting through thousands of pictures on my computer- I need to delete seriously 1/3 of them due to blurriness, duplicates, etc.  It's such a daunting task!


things I've been learning:

Oh my.  This one might get lengthy.  I tend to have my thinking time and epiphanies when I'm in the shower or doing something in which writing down my thoughts is impossible (and immediately writing down said thoughts is vital or else they are GONE- mush brain, remember?) so I'll try my very hardest to keep the thoughts and ideas from flying away and, as soon as I can, dictate them into the notes app on my phone so they are at least somewhat preserved.

I'm learning that I need to find my identity in Christ ALONE.  Not in being a mother, wife, friend, daughter... I could go on but I'm pretty sure my point has been made.  I need to be confident in my identity.  There needs to be no room for fear and uncertainty.

I'm learning that I need to not only endure this crazy, exhausting, overwhelming season of life I'm in (I love my kids more than life but having three kids three and under has just plain rocked my world way harder than my smug self ever thought it would), but I need to also embrace it.  I originally named this blog "Embrace the Space" because I was focusing on embracing the fact that we had moved away from home and I needed to accept where we were physically living and doing life.  I feel like the "embracing" sentiment applies more figuratively to me now- it's all so cliche and yet so darn true.

I'm learning (from reading "Desperate") that one of the most important things I need to do right now is turn off the "voices."  Whether it be trying to avoid getting lost on Facebook, choosing to not read every (well-meaning) advice/parenting/spiritual article that is linked in social media, or paring down my blog-read list, it's all been so helpful to me in learning to actually think more for myself and my family, rather than seeing how everyone else does things and going from there.  Plus- it's helping me to turn to the Bible for answers first.  Who would have thought?! ;)  I'm also trying to not turn off my own voice and to stand firm in my convictions.  This girl has a long way to go in the confidence realm, but it's slowly building.  I'm so grateful for growth.

I'm also learning who I am.  I am getting to know myself in a way that I never have before.  God has been so gracious to me in teaching me that so many things about my personality that I've always seen as a flaw or a weakness might actually be HOW HE MADE ME.  It seems so very simple, but it all just blows my mind.  For example, most people may not see this, but I am (on the inside) very, very shy in many social situations.  I've spent most of my life trying to cover that up and act like someone who I'm not (and in the process making myself just look nervous, awkward, or just plain dumb) in such situations.  Instead of fighting and hating my shyness, I want to be able to just embrace who I am and focus on that, not on who/what I want to be.  I know I can be shy and still be confident at the same time.  I do still have the desire to be warm, social, and comfortable- I know deep down these are all qualities that God has allowed me to possess, and I so desire to find a balance of them all.  Personalities just captivate me- I love studying people and have been trying so hard to see strong qualities in the people around me as qualities God intends for good, despite how they might be misinterpreted and misused.


events I'm looking forward to:

summer activities, weddings, the Influence Conference this fall, spending time with the ones we love this summer, weekly playdates with some of my bests, and summer visits from some of my very favorite people.


products/items I've been loving (beauty, home, food, etc.):

coconut oil (for basically everything... no, really), my Rifle Paper Co. phone case, lemon italian ice, anything gold (especially jewelry), the "Choose Happiness" aromatherapy candle from Target , Ruum kids clothing (even though I still pine for 77Kids), Tarte mascara, Simple face wipes, and Surface hairspray (seriously, the best hairspray I've ever used!).


happy things that have happened in the past 3 months: 

We went to the Outer Banks with the Kirnan clan way back in early April.  It was just the break we all needed.

We finally got a new kitchen table and chairs- I'd share a picture if I had one but let me say I LOVE THEM.

In mid-May, I was able to travel to North Carolina and be present for the birth of my best friend Kerry's new baby girl.  God orchestrated it all in such a way that I will never doubt again that He truly does care about EVERY detail of our lives and pays attention to what's important to us.  She went into labor literally when I walked in her door and she had her dream birth experience (and met her baby GIRL Lilah Hope!) a mere five hours later.  I still get chills just thinking about those few days.  It was all so miraculous and surreal.  Evyn was my travel buddy and she didn't bat an eyelash at our plane rides, airport waiting, and disrupted schedules.  That girl.

Brynlee finished preschool!  She'll be going three days next year and Mac will be going two days.  I twitch involuntarily thinking about having to get the kids out the door EVERY morning starting in September.

Ryan and I have imposed a weekly date night which has been so great for us.  Whether we go out or (more often) have a "date night in," we get a chance to touch base and spend some intentional time together.  I'd highly recommend it.

Mother's Day and Father's Day.

Evyn Mae turned six months old.
Then seven months old.
Then EIGHT MONTHS OLD.  HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?!

This little sunshine is just the light of my life.  She is so happy all. the. time.  She loves food, the other kids, attention, snuggling, and tickles.  She sits up pretty steadily now and rolls around but has no interest in crawling and I'm juuust fine with that.  She is so incredibly sweet and her hair is filling in and is still pretty red.  I hope it stays that way, it's so pretty!

Meghan and Greyson came to visit and stayed with us all last week and it was glorious to get to spend so much time with them.  That big-little nephew of mine rivals Evyn in the sweetness category and, unlike his cousin, is a crawling machine.  I love that boy as if he was mine.  And he pretty much is. :) I'm also pretty sure we aren't going to get a picture of all our kids smiling and looking at the camera all at the same time for at least 10 years or so!

sad things that have happened in the past 3 months:

I stopped blogging for She {hearts} It.  I was sad to stop, but I'm feeling the tug to simplify and streamline things right now.  I feel like God is nudging me to let go of some of the "extras," and I want to be open to what He might have for me if I am obedient in that.


blogs I've been loving:

The Small Things Blog (yay for Kate's pregnancy!  I'm such a stalker), I Take Joy (Sally Clarkson, will you come live with me?!  I just adore that woman!), and I've really been loving beauty blogs.  I tend to go in waves when it comes to blog categories I'm currently interested in- sometimes it's home improvement and design, sometimes it's diy/crafty goodness, sometimes it's fashion, sometimes it's just inspiring words and appreciating the heart of some of the writers out there that inspire me.


music I've been loving:

The Lone Bellow, All Sons and Daughters, and The Civil Wars' new single.  Too bad we have to wait until August for the rest of the album!


Aaaand that's quite the conglomeration of thoughts.  My brain is relieved.  Happy weekend!

grapefruit, rapunzel, & a sewing seat

I should be sleeping, but instead I'm popping in to share a few fun tidbits of this week so far.

First, I've done yet another review of Nourish Organics over at She {hearts} It. This time, I've reviewed their new organic grapefruit wash, and I'm giving away an 8oz wash! There's a discount code too. Trust me, you're going to want to get your hands on some of this ultra-moisturizing, best-smelling-ever wash.

***

Second, little girlfriend FINALLY just got her hair trimmed. For the first time. Did I mention she will be 4 in a few weeks? Yeah.

My Rapunzel just recently decided a trim would not shatter her world, and perhaps it would even make brushing her sometimes-snarly ends a bit easier. It was barely 2 inches, but the act of cutting my baby's hair for the first time totally tugged at my heartstrings. My dear friend Leah graciously snipped those ends, just like she trimmed Mac's hair for the first time about a year and a half ago.

***

Third, I did finally finish the little seat to use at my sewing desk. I wish I had a "before" picture, but just imagine worn red leather and a scuffed, medium-wood finish. And the "after":

LOVE this fabric.

***

Last, I've been trying to be much more deliberate in taking pictures with my real camera, not just on my phone. So here's a few of my littles to make you smile. The days have been long and often trying lately, but I love these little people with all of my being and we are all growing and changing. Especially me; especially my momma heart. This post especially resonated with me today. God's molding me, and all I needed to do was let Him.

Oh, and the kitchen is DONE! Pictures to come.

playroom pretty

The entryway from our attached garage leads directly into what we've dubbed the playroom. It's a cheery room with the same light grey/taupe walls as the rest of (most of) the downstairs. Toy storage is an issue, and if it were my grumpy mom way, I would have all the toys always put away and there would be no trace of little gremlins in my decor. What a mean mother. But, the toy explosion is inevitable. Oh the toys. We have probably 2/3 of the kids' toys in the basement play area and the rest are in the playroom (minus a handful residing in Brynlee's room).

So I would like to have our "playroom" still be friendly and a little whimsical, but still mesh with the rest of the downstairs (since it's pretty out in the open) while concealing the overabundance of TOYS. My dear parents agreed to construct some MORE built-ins, this time for the playroom, much like the living room ones that they created to house all my favorite prettiness (these pictures were taken in August so things have changed a bit here and there since then):

The mercury glass knobs make me about keel over with delight.

My mom has already whipped up some window treatments in this fabric:

I'll add some new storage bins like these: 

And the grand finale... I just ordered THIS for a fun accent wall:

 

I can't wait.

We also desperately need a new light fixture. I'm thinking one that's pretty flush to the ceiling, and I love this drum shade. I love the pattern, but it may be too much... maybe one in a solid grey would be better. We will see.

I do have a rug in the room already (it's the "gold" version).  I can't wait to see it all come together in the end.

I promise to share before & afters. I'm silly over these upcoming changes!

randomness in photos

Here's the past few weeks in pictures!

I finally sewed up an infinity scarf with one of the knits that Ashley and I bought when she visited a few weeks ago.  It took me literally 5 minutes.  Easiest ever.  I used Keight's braided scarf tutorial as a rough guide to get me started.  I have the fabric to make a colorblocked one too- it will be cute for spring. 

My sweet baby girl rolled over for the first time the other day.  Back to belly!  So weird since she hates being on her belly.  She is just the happiest thing.  I could burst just thinking about her.

Valentine's day was low key around these parts.  A few little gifts, homemade Valentines, and a quiet (delicious) dinner in for Ryan and me.  I was the "special helper" for Brynlee's class at preschool, too- I was just in awe of her the whole time I was in there.  How has my little baby turned into a big, gorgeous KID?!  One that participates in a classroom setting and sings and follows rules?  Wow.

Story of my life right now.  Don't ever say I don't keep it real.

I pulled out the highchair so Evyn can sit at the table with us while we eat and she is loving it.  I probably won't start her on solids for awhile yet, but she seems content to just be part of the action at mealtimes for now.

These girls and I had a sweet night in last weekend, and it was so needed after a week of being cooped up in our sick house.  Ryan caught the awful flu and was down and out for over a week.  The kids and I managed to avoid it but it was still tough to get through.

Pretty sure the wallpaper sample on the left is going to happen in the playroom and I am so stinkin excited.  

Leah, Evyn, and I were able to meet up with Liz (and her baby girl in the belly) this past weekend for a lovely coffee date.  Funny story, Liz goes to Leah's church and we discovered about a year ago that Liz had read my blog before but hadn't made the connection that Leah was my SIL until we attended their church on a weekend we were visiting for a family party (they live a good 2 hours away).  That sentence didn't really make sense, but trust me, it was crazy-in-a-good-way.  Liz won my giveaway so it was a good excuse to get together... and it better happen much more often girlfriend.

Best cousins.  Dylan Elise, the baby girl who made me an aunt, turned FIVE the other day.  Mind=blown.  Love these girls so much.

currently

I'm following Emily's lead today & sharing some current life randomness.

loving: 

the few new pillow slipcovers I whipped up using this tutorial. After making the first one, I was embarrassed that I hadn't done these sooner. So easy!

reading: 

the February issue of Martha Stewart Living. And blogs. My favorites lately: The Small Things Blog, Hello From the Natos, From My Grey Desk. Also, Reality Steve [hanging head in shame].

waiting for: 

the storm we are apparently going to get hit with tonight/tomorrow. We're staying in!

excited about: 

a girls' night planned for Saturday night. SO needed.

trying to: 

avoid the flu. Ryan spent two days straight in bed this past week. In the 10 years we've been together, I've never experienced him doing this. It takes a lot to knock that man down. I'm downing vitamins and zicam!

working on: 

finishing the kids' rooms. They will be so pretty once my plans leave my brain and come into fruition.  I can't wait to share - especially Evyn's room!

enjoying: 

spearmint & orange gummies, gluten free pretzels, and Enjoy Life dark chocolate. Compliments of a sick husband on a grocery run. 

using: 

my TURQUOISE stick blender, a Christmas gift from my mom and dad. Smoothies have never been easier to make, cleanup is a snap (especially compared to using a regular blender), and it's pretty. Duh. 

wearing:  

these earrings. Picked them up last night and haven't taken them out since.

planning: 

on having a low-key weekend.

singing: 

to All Sons and Daughters. I like to think I'm the third part of the trio they don't realize that they are in. Haha.

needing: 

to snuggle this little bundle right now. And she's 4 months old as of Tuesday. [Brain explodes.] 

learning: 

about Biblical suffering and the hope & freedom that comes with it. Our pastor is doing an amazing series on 1 Peter right now.

listening to: 

the hum of the monitor, the furnace kicking on, and Ryan hacking up a lung.

wishing: 

there was a little more time each day to work on projects and snuggle babies and play with big kids. Priorities.

doing: 

pretty well at dropping the baby poundage. And I ran a 5k on Tuesday. My minutes/mile ratio is highly embarrassing, but I did it. In 27 degree weather. And then wheezed for a few hours afterward.

dreaming of: 

a sandy tropical beach. Someday!

***

Congrats to pretty Liz on winning my Winter Essentials giveaway!

weekend bliss

On Thursday, my dear friend Ashley and her sweet Piper made the 6ish hour drive up to NY to pay us a visit. They stayed until early yesterday and we were sure to fill our time with non-stop chatting, late night projects, kid entertaining, multiple Joanns runs (one of which we lugged the kids along on in the snow and after we got home I had to fend off a panic attack- but it was worth it), eating out, and relaxing. Ashley pounded out a necklace and an infinity scarf, and I made a necklace and got 3/4 through crocheting a mini infinity scarf for Piper to match the one I (kind of accidentally) made for Brynlee. 

- tired but happy friends on a mission for project supplies - 

- my new print from this shop - 

- my sweet kiddos listening to the lesson in their class at church - 

- our middle babies -

 I love precious time with friends who just "get" me... Ashley just one of those friends.  And we treasure quality time instead of quantity time with each other... even though every time we do see each other we brainstorm when the next few times we can get together will be.  I have to say too, she is one of the cutest pregnant ladies I have ever seen.  Not fair.  Nevertheless, I'm so grateful for you, Ash!  I love how God brings us the right people at the right time.  Wow, so blessed.

Don't forget to enter my giveaway!  Happy Monday.

tuesday brain dump

Brain dump time! Apparently my new blogging motto is "all or nothing" because I'm either silent for a month or word-vomit typing. Here we go.

- Blogging. I love it, need to do it, am obsessed with reading blogs, and still use nursing sessions to devour my google reader list, saving my favorite blogs for last. I SO WANT TO BLOG every day or even every other... or heck once a week. Obviously it's not been something that's possible for the past few months (I don't think I really need to explain WHY) and I keep talking about how I want to do it and whine about it when I don't. So I AM going to do it more. For me and to continue to preserve this little space. Oh and I am just giddy over my little blog makeover... Molly is the bomb. If you're looking for a sweet soul to make your blog the prettiest, look no further.

- Giveaway. Coming so soon! I have the goods gathered, now just need to photograph them. Look for my "Winter Essentials" giveaway by the end of this week!

- A-dubs. My girl Ashley is coming to visit me on Thursday! I am SO EXCITED! I haven't seen her since the summertime when I was 26 weeks pregnant with Evyn, and when I see her in a few days she will be 30 weeks pregnant with her baby boy. Crafting and chatting and coffee... hurry up and get here, Ash!

- Projects. SO MANY IN MY MIND. I want to do all of them. Mostly house stuff and some half-done, started, or I have gathered supplies for but haven't started. I am crawling out of the post-baby funk (which was not that bad this time around but has left me desperate to take some time and create things... ALONE) and am so inspired to do ALL THE PROJECTS. But then I get overwhelmed with all I want to do and then am left paralyzed. And then the guilt of the presence of unfinished/unstarted baby books and picture-taking-slacking wells up... baby steps. Care for my babies first, but take baby steps in the direction of not losing myself in the craziness of this season.

- An effort to look human. Just a few little attempts to look a little more decent in the day-to-day. I'm a little late jumping on this bandwagon, but wow, is dry shampoo awesome. I just bought the cheap Suave kind, and I love it. The smell is amazing and it makes my hair feel so fresh. I'm also really into light grey nail polish lately and finally got my hands on some. (OPI french quarter for your thoughts)

A fresh cut and color and pretty sweater doesn't hurt either. 

- DF/GF. I went dairy-free when Brynlee was about 4 months old and when Mac was about the same age. I exclusively nursed them, and both were showing signs of intolerance. So now that Evyn is almost 4 months old, I figured I had better just go ahead and cut myself off from dairy as a precaution. Now I confess, I also want to start shedding this baby weight (everyone told me it would be the hardest with #3 and BOY ARE THEY RIGHT) and I lost so much when I went off of dairy with the others so I'm hoping this helps. I also have dropped gluten because I read it can help with your skin amongst other things. SO, since Friday I haven't had a bit of dairy or gluten and feel fab. I don't even feel deprived when I have a lunch that looks like this:

The black things in the middle are chia seeds, and I'm not sure why I waited so long to incorporate them into my life. The benefits are awesome! I just add a tablespoon here and there in foods that I can easily put them in (smoothies, peanut butter, salads).

- Running. Remember when I ran a half marathon? Well, after that I took a YEAR off of running. Sadness. I've been wanting to get out there again, but the combo of kids & weather & no treadmill has, um, delayed my efforts. Then, Raechel threw out an idea to put together a team to keep each other accountable in the running department. Yes! I was able to get out a few times since then (weekends and 60 degree January days are my friends) but the high today is 12 degrees so I think I'll spend the rest of the day snuggled in with my babies. At least I have the will, right? I'm hoping this push to run will help with the whole losing the baby weight endeavor, too.

Brain dump over. Have a happy Tuesday, friends.

52 in 1: WEEK 52 - stairs and favorites

For my last 52/1, I wanted to do something that was not only on my house to-do list but also something that would give me a good old before and after. Also, I gave myself a few extra days since it's number 52! I can't believe I did it! The stairs were originally covered in carpet, which we ripped up pretty promptly after moving in. I'm not really a carpet-on-the-stairs person, but I am not really a carpet person in general, so maybe that's why. I pulled a million staples from the stairs, filled the holes, sanded, and painted. I think I could stand to do another coat, maybe in time. :)

The shadows in the "after" picture are awful, and the light caught where I had filled the holes and sanded just so, but I promise that it looks great in real life. Super clean and fresh. Now to just paint every other bit of trim in the house!

 I'm so glad I stuck with this whole "project a week" vow for a year, even though some weeks I dreaded coming up with something and then other weeks I couldn't wait to share what I had come up with.

 Here are a few favorites from the past year: 

fluffy flower sandals 

a simple skirt 

Alyssa's baby shower  

pretty jewelry display  

Anthro-inspired leather ruffle flats 

feather earrings -- Anthro knockoff  

empty house 

ruffles & Wards  

a little boy haircut  

pretty plates  

a very special project  

wallpaper & a little stepstool

52 in 1: WEEK 51 - "flag banner thingy"

My sweet cousin requested I make her a bunting (aka flag banner thingy- her words) for her baby girl's first birthday party (and subsequent birthdays). Between a late finish (with Mother's Day weekend, I gave myself a pass to be a few days late) and wrestling with Alyssa's unfamiliar-to-me sewing machine (since mine is STILL in the shop- gah!), I was a little frustrated making it, but love the end result. Hope sweet Preslie loves it!

52 in 1: WEEK 49 - wallpaper & a little stepstool - part 2

I can't believe I only have THREE more weeks in my 52/1 challenge. It's been a fun ride, although I must say I am not putting such pressure on myself for awhile! Haha.

So I knocked out two projects this week... okay, I'm lying. My mom did one, I finished the other! I had been wanting to put up wallpaper in the back of the built ins that my dad is working on for our living room and found exactly what I was looking for after a long search. My mom was over the other day and put the wallpaper up in in about two seconds while I laid motionless on the couch (this pregnancy is knocking me out in pretty much every way possible). It is EXACTLY what I envisioned! The color, pattern, subtleness (apparently spellcheck doesn't think that's a word, but I do!), everything.  Can't wait to finish up the cabinets and get all my pretty little doo dads up on the shelves.

{doors will be put on the bottom part}

And ta-da, a finished stool! In hindsight, I should have just spray painted it since I needed about 4 coats (and probably should have done like 5) of paint. Oh well. I am in love with the fabric and Brynlee gave her approval, so I'm happy. :)