Saturday, June 22, 2013

let's play catch-up

Well hello there.  Clearly, a game of catch-up is in order around these parts.  I've been so busy- physically but mostly mentally.  My mind is a constant jumble-y swirl of big ideas, to-dos, emotions, inspiration, anxieties, and dreams, yet writing all those things down seems to be the most ultimately exhausting and overwhelming task lately.  I want to do, see, feel, and be everything.  Sometimes, when I want to do everything I have a hard time starting even one thing.  I'm not discouraged; I'm actually more inspired and hopeful in so many ways than I have been in a long time.  Yet, I know writing is so therapeutic for me, so I think a little effort needs to be made.  Surely I will miss many details in this collection of words from the past three months (especially since my brain is pure mush these days- yet I can remember entire songs from 90's boy bands from my highschool days word-for-word but can't remember if I took my vitamins five minutes ago- it's bad, people), but let the mental flow begin!

Let's play catch-up!

projects I've/we've been working on:

landscaping, room designing, nursery finishing (I swear I'll take/share pictures, hopefully before Evyn grows out of the crib), basement designing (I'm trying to make the space more efficient and organized- for the kids AND me), losing weight (blah- dropping the baby weight the third time around has been so tough for me), putting laundry away before it's been sitting in the basket for a week (I'm rarely successful at this), a rock box and a built in bench/storage in our back entryway (built by Ryan, who is killin' it with project completion lately!), various lovely-fabric-involving accessories throughout the house, and sorting through thousands of pictures on my computer- I need to delete seriously 1/3 of them due to blurriness, duplicates, etc.  It's such a daunting task!

things I've been learning:

Oh my.  This one might get lengthy.  I tend to have my thinking time and epiphanies when I'm in the shower or doing something in which writing down my thoughts is impossible (and immediately writing down said thoughts is vital or else they are GONE- mush brain, remember?) so I'll try my very hardest to keep the thoughts and ideas from flying away and, as soon as I can, dictate them into the notes app on my phone so they are at least somewhat preserved.

I'm learning that I need to find my identity in Christ ALONE.  Not in being a mother, wife, friend, daughter... I could go on but I'm pretty sure my point has been made.  I need to be confident in my identity.  There needs to be no room for fear and uncertainty.

I'm learning that I need to not only endure this crazy, exhausting, overwhelming season of life I'm in (I love my kids more than life but having three kids three and under has just plain rocked my world way harder than my smug self ever thought it would), but I need to also embrace it.  I originally named this blog "Embrace the Space" because I was focusing on embracing the fact that we had moved away from home and I needed to accept where we were physically living and doing life.  I feel like the "embracing" sentiment applies more figuratively to me now- it's all so cliche and yet so darn true.

I'm learning (from reading "Desperate") that one of the most important things I need to do right now is turn off the "voices."  Whether it be trying to avoid getting lost on Facebook, choosing to not read every (well-meaning) advice/parenting/spiritual article that is linked in social media, or paring down my blog-read list, it's all been so helpful to me in learning to actually think more for myself and my family, rather than seeing how everyone else does things and going from there.  Plus- it's helping me to turn to the Bible for answers first.  Who would have thought?! ;)  I'm also trying to not turn off my own voice and to stand firm in my convictions.  This girl has a long way to go in the confidence realm, but it's slowly building.  I'm so grateful for growth.

I'm also learning who I am.  I am getting to know myself in a way that I never have before.  God has been so gracious to me in teaching me that so many things about my personality that I've always seen as a flaw or a weakness might actually be HOW HE MADE ME.  It seems so very simple, but it all just blows my mind.  For example, most people may not see this, but I am (on the inside) very, very shy in many social situations.  I've spent most of my life trying to cover that up and act like someone who I'm not (and in the process making myself just look nervous, awkward, or just plain dumb) in such situations.  Instead of fighting and hating my shyness, I want to be able to just embrace who I am and focus on that, not on who/what I want to be.  I know I can be shy and still be confident at the same time.  I do still have the desire to be warm, social, and comfortable- I know deep down these are all qualities that God has allowed me to possess, and I so desire to find a balance of them all.  Personalities just captivate me- I love studying people and have been trying so hard to see strong qualities in the people around me as qualities God intends for good, despite how they might be misinterpreted and misused.

events I'm looking forward to:

summer activities, weddings, the Influence Conference this fall, spending time with the ones we love this summer, weekly playdates with some of my bests, and summer visits from some of my very favorite people.

products/items I've been loving (beauty, home, food, etc.):

coconut oil (for basically everything... no, really), my Rifle Paper Co. phone case, lemon italian ice, anything gold (especially jewelry), the "Choose Happiness" aromatherapy candle from Target , Ruum kids clothing (even though I still pine for 77Kids), Tarte mascara, Simple face wipes, and Surface hairspray (seriously, the best hairspray I've ever used!).

happy things that have happened in the past 3 months: 

We went to the Outer Banks with the Kirnan clan way back in early April.  It was just the break we all needed.

We finally got a new kitchen table and chairs- I'd share a picture if I had one but let me say I LOVE THEM.

In mid-May, I was able to travel to North Carolina and be present for the birth of my best friend Kerry's new baby girl.  God orchestrated it all in such a way that I will never doubt again that He truly does care about EVERY detail of our lives and pays attention to what's important to us.  She went into labor literally when I walked in her door and she had her dream birth experience (and met her baby GIRL Lilah Hope!) a mere five hours later.  I still get chills just thinking about those few days.  It was all so miraculous and surreal.  Evyn was my travel buddy and she didn't bat an eyelash at our plane rides, airport waiting, and disrupted schedules.  That girl.

Brynlee finished preschool!  She'll be going three days next year and Mac will be going two days.  I twitch involuntarily thinking about having to get the kids out the door EVERY morning starting in September.

Ryan and I have imposed a weekly date night which has been so great for us.  Whether we go out or (more often) have a "date night in," we get a chance to touch base and spend some intentional time together.  I'd highly recommend it.

Mother's Day and Father's Day.

Evyn Mae turned six months old.
Then seven months old.

This little sunshine is just the light of my life.  She is so happy all. the. time.  She loves food, the other kids, attention, snuggling, and tickles.  She sits up pretty steadily now and rolls around but has no interest in crawling and I'm juuust fine with that.  She is so incredibly sweet and her hair is filling in and is still pretty red.  I hope it stays that way, it's so pretty!

Meghan and Greyson came to visit and stayed with us all last week and it was glorious to get to spend so much time with them.  That big-little nephew of mine rivals Evyn in the sweetness category and, unlike his cousin, is a crawling machine.  I love that boy as if he was mine.  And he pretty much is. :) I'm also pretty sure we aren't going to get a picture of all our kids smiling and looking at the camera all at the same time for at least 10 years or so!

sad things that have happened in the past 3 months:

I stopped blogging for She {hearts} It.  I was sad to stop, but I'm feeling the tug to simplify and streamline things right now.  I feel like God is nudging me to let go of some of the "extras," and I want to be open to what He might have for me if I am obedient in that.

blogs I've been loving:

The Small Things Blog (yay for Kate's pregnancy!  I'm such a stalker), I Take Joy (Sally Clarkson, will you come live with me?!  I just adore that woman!), and I've really been loving beauty blogs.  I tend to go in waves when it comes to blog categories I'm currently interested in- sometimes it's home improvement and design, sometimes it's diy/crafty goodness, sometimes it's fashion, sometimes it's just inspiring words and appreciating the heart of some of the writers out there that inspire me.

music I've been loving:

The Lone Bellow, All Sons and Daughters, and The Civil Wars' new single.  Too bad we have to wait until August for the rest of the album!

Aaaand that's quite the conglomeration of thoughts.  My brain is relieved.  Happy weekend!

1 comment:

  1. I always love reading your thoughts...even if its from the toilet...just kidding...not really. Love the way God made you. :)