she still wants me

Some days, I feel like just one big old parenting FAIL. Short on patience, snappy, moody.

Today was one of those days. Yesterday, too. And probably the day before, too.

Granted, Brynlee was whiney and tired and disobedient, but she's two. I'm not. I'm the mom. The adult.

After a rough bedtime (Ryan was working late) and a stressed mommy trying to pack for the two week trip back home (with a written to-do list that is still longer than the number of lines on the paper), here I sit, already early morning, on the couch to catch my breath.

And over the monitor, I hear "Mommy!"

I quickly turn on the video screen and see Brynlee roll around a bit and then lie still again. She was obviously still sleeping.

I tear up at the thought that, even in a deep sleep, she still wants me. Regardless of the day's frustrations, my evaporating patience, and weighted busyness. I'm still her mommy. She is so quick to say "I'm sorry Mommy," when she disobeys and I know she means it. So quick to apologize, even before I've cooled off. And she is so quick to offer forgiveness too. "It's okay Mommy." And she gives me another chance, again and again. No grudges, but a clean slate. If that's not the most perfect picture of God's grace then I don't know what is.

I have a lot to teach her as she grows, but boy do I have a whole lot more to learn from her.

Love you baby girl. Forever and no matter what.